In April, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I am still in love with my ex-girlfriend. I told her this. She cried, and regretfully told me she's with someone else.
My greatest hope? To win her back and spend the rest of my life with her. My greatest fear? That she'll find love elsewhere, and my chances are over.
This is one of many ways I cope.
In the best interests of her, my friends, and I, this blog will remain anonymous.
This is real.
advice / encouragement / support / stories: as long as it takes @ gmail
Aug 20
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You:
Thought I saw you today and nearly had a heart attack. You're everywhere!
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Me:
Haha aw well if I run into you can u keep your cool?? (id probably faint myself)
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You:
Obviously not as I almost fell over today. My palms got all sweaty and I thought "no! not in this dumb t-shirt!" haha
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Me:
Haha i know is it bad i spend an extra minute on my hair just in case? :]
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You:
Not bad at all. *sigh* we're ridiculous.
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Me:
I know.. ah you only live so long.. so inappropriate or not, i think about you every minute of every day and .. You know the rest.. k? :)
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You:
oh (my name) I just know i'll know when i'm allowed to look at you and echo that in person. Until then i'm trapped in silence.
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Me:
It's okay, babe. I promise i'll be here when you're ready, love.
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You:
LOVE.
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Me:
LOOOOVE aah so many letters to read you.. Hehe
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You:
I wish I could say the same they're all trapped in my brain, i've never been lost for words or means before.
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Me:
It's okay sweetheart. Im not going anywhere.
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You:
:-) LOVE.
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Me:
PS with this new job im gonna buy us a country house and fix it up like the Notebook! cept im gonna be reading from 'building for dummies' :D
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You:
And i'll be reading "cooking and long dresses" for dummies! That sounds...magical.....
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Me:
!!!!!!!!
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Me:
I can't wait to hear you laugh every day...
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You:
And you will be the cause of it. Maybe that's why I feel chubby cuz i'm not laughing.....
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Me:
Aww you are gorgeous and skinny and sexy! And i'll fix that!
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You:
You better!
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You:
:-D !!
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Me:
U know it :D :D :D Oxoxooxoxoxoxxxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxox
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--
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Does someone want to analyze this for me?
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A female friend of mine says I shouldn't indulge my ex because she'll remain complacent with her boyfriend and make me her second choice. It's "a game girls play, trust me," my friend says. But I'm my ex's second choice by default. I'm the reason why we're in this mess anyhow. Does that make a difference?
