I Love Her

In April, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I am still in love with my ex-girlfriend. I told her this. She cried, and regretfully told me she's with someone else.

My greatest hope? To win her back and spend the rest of my life with her. My greatest fear? That she'll find love elsewhere, and my chances are over.

This is one of many ways I cope.

In the best interests of her, my friends, and I, this blog will remain anonymous.

This is real.

advice / encouragement / support / stories: as long as it takes @ gmail
Aug 16
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Long dresses

Recently, a photographer friend of mine, older guy, was showing me some photos of his; images from his great life - his wife, his house, old junker pick-up, etc.

He scrolled through these pictures and paused on one he’d taken of his dog drinking from a stream in the woods. His wife was in the background wrangling the other pup and looking gorgeous for sixty or however old.

“Is that in your back yard?”, I asked.

“No,” he said, “just taking a walk after dinner.”

Suddenly, the floodgates opened. This wave of imagery and nostalgia washed over me like a warm bath. I pictured us at their age. Older and comfortable, broken in and living out what was left of our youth doing all these things together..

  • walking our dogs in the woods
  • making dinner in our country house
  • commuting to the city for work
  • watching you walk the porch in long dresses

and then before that, younger…

  • painting our first home together
  • making love to you in our back yard
  • strolling on a boardwalk somewhere quaint
  • riding the train to the city for a show. on the way back, you’re resting your head on my shoulder with the Hudson in the dark.

There is no doubt, love. I only want you.